Very late one night, the doctor's home phone rings. His wife gets out of bed and goes downstairs to answer it. She returns telling the doctor that the call is from one of his patients who is desperate to speak to him. He gets out of bed, goes down to the hallway and picks up the receiver.
"Hello doctor. It's Mrs Brown here."
"Mrs Brown? Sorry, I'm not sure I know who...."
"You've been treating me for my insomnia doctor. You said that it's imperative that I try to get a good night's sleep whenever I can."
"As yes, that Mrs Brown. Why are you calling? What can I do for you?"
"Well doctor, tonight I was just managing to nod off, when I heard an awful screeching noise coming from outside. It's still going on and it's keeping me awake."
"Well what was it?"
"Well it turns out that there's a couple of cats in the garden doctor, and it seems that they're having sex, and making an awful racket doing it too. I'm at a total loss as to how to stop them."
"Have you tried shouting at them?"
"That was the first thing I tried; it didn't make a difference."
"How about throwing something at them?"
"I threw one of my husband's boots at them, through the window, but it had no effect."
"What about throwing cold water over them then?"
"Tried that. When my husband went down to retrieve his boot, he took a bucket of ice cold water with him and chucked it all over them. They didn't even pause, just carried on having sex."
"Have you tried telling them there's a phone call for them?"
"Oh! That's one thing I hadn't even thought of. Is that likely to stop them then?"
"Well it should do. It bloody well stopped me and my wife!"