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After a heavy night out drinking, a guy ends up in the local tattoo parlour.

He tells the tattooist that he'd like something a little special. The artist asks if he has a girlfriend, suggesting that it might be a nice gesture to have her name tattooed along the length of his manhood. It seems like a good idea to our friend and since he's too drunk to even consider the pain (and thinks he's probably too drunk to feel it,) he agrees.

"What's your girlfriend's name?" asks the tattooist.

"Helga," answers our friend, as he drops his pants.

After half an hour of excruciating agony, the tattooist declares that the job is all done. Our hero looks down at his pride and joy and though impressed by the style and workmanship, is very disappointed by the job as a whole, since all that's visible on the side of his John Thomas is the word 'Ha'.

He makes his dissatisfaction known to the artist, who explains that he shouldn't jump to conclusions. "It may just say 'Ha'  now," he says, "but Helga's entire name is there, and when you're with her and she gets you excited, imagine her delight as your dick extends and her full name 'Helga' becomes visible."

"Ah!" says our friend as realisation hits him, "Now I understand."

He staggers home, and a couple of days later when his tattoo has settled down a little, he visits his girlfriend at her home. Sure enough later that evening, when they're in the bedroom and he undresses, she demands to know why the hell he has 'Ha' written on his willy.

He explains about getting a tattoo and invites her to play with it; eventually, as nature takes its course, her full name 'Helga' is revealed in all its glory. To say she's delighted would be an understatement, and our hero decides that the expense of the tattoo was money well spent, and that all the pain was worth it.

After a couple of weeks, he's out drinking with his friends again. He pays a visit to the gents and while there, notices that the big West Indian chap at the urinal next to him also has 'Ha' tattoed on his dick.

"Excuse me for asking," he says, "but do you have a girlfriend called Helga?"

"No I don't," answers the West Indian chap, "Why do you ask?"

"Well," explains our hero, "You have 'Ha' tattoed on your old man there, and I wondered what it really spells when you're ready for action."

"Oh I see," said the West Indian chap, "It says 'Hello ladies, my name is Winston, may I extend my fullest welcome to you on your arrival in Jamaica'."

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